Time can pass quickly. When you’re striving to reach the end goal height of your career, such as a: ceo; ed; president or vice president; partner; board chair,; adminstrator &c. you could have spent three to four decades in getting there. During that time you were probably so hyper focused on reaching the goal, you took little time to imagine what it would be like to live in the goal. It’s not uncommon for women once “there” to look around and think, now what?

I belong to a women coaching group. In this group, while we get to have one-on-one sessions specific to our needs, we also get to view the coaching sessions of other women members. Time after time many women, while expressing gratitude for their positions simultaneously express dissastisfaction in them also. They articulate feeling confused and being lost, because they don’t know where to go to. The inquiry is complex and the answer to each woman’s conundrum is dependent on each individual woman. But the overall mindset shift that needs to occur is that reaching the goal, is not the end goal. Once a woman believes that there is no end goal, that’s when the true inquiry can begin.

Often my coach will ask: “What story are you telling yourself that leaves you feeling lost and confused?” (as an aside, she does not believe women are lost and confused, something she regularly reminds us not to tell ourselves because it extracts us from our intuition and inquiry). Then she will ask; “What specifically is dissatisfying?” I’ve seen women express that they feel opportunity for continued growth is limited, or the goal they’ve reached is not as satisfying as they imagined it would be; or they need something else to strive for and they don’t know what. In many of these instances, inquiry and experimentation is the answer. Here are some examples:

• Is it true that there is no room anywhere for professional learning in your current position? If so, could you grow personally instead, and how?

• What did you expect your goal to feel like when you achieved it? Was it realistic? If it was, are there ways within your current position to live out that feeling? Maybe you don’t like all of the responsibilities, but are there some areas that invite and ignite your interests that you can primarily focus on, and delegate all or parts of the other areas that don’t interest you (actual advice I was given while an ED)?

• Why do you feel like you need to keep striving for more? It’s okay to have goals, but let’s make sure they are not masking deeper issues you may not want to confront.

Reaching your career goal doesn’t have to be an end, it can be a new and fun beginning! It can be the opportunity you always wanted where you can experiment and play without the pressure of having to have achieved a certain title, salary &c. before you can begin. So long as you let yourself.