Why Having a Mentor is Important for a Woman’s Leadership Journey
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At the outset let me be clear. There are many ways to have a mentor. It is not necessary for your mentor to be a person immediately accessible in your life. They don’t have to work in the same career you desire. Nor do you have to know them. In fact, I’ve never had a formal mentor throughout my career. If I say so; I did and continue to do pretty good. But I did have informal women mentors, a myriad of them, that I continue to look up to. Mentorship, whether it’s from near or afar is important for any woman’s leadership journey.
Here is the unfair and hard fact of life. It is very easy for males, particularly white males, to acquire mentors. If large companies and established institutions were like a family, men are blood relatives and women are relatives by marriage (never above suspicion). Advancing and senior male leaders, will gravitate to assist a man new in his career at every possible opportunity. If one highly influential seasoned leader happens to take a younger male professional under his wing, he essentially has an “in” with everyone that senior male leader comes in contact with…that includes senior women leaders. Whether this mentorship is formal or informal is irrelevant. Young professional males learn practical daily, politicking (and let’s not forget the most important in business), money making skills. They will also garner opportunities women will not have. They will meet people and be in spaces that will continue to advance their career for decades to come.
Here is another unfair and hard business truth. Unfortunately a new professional female does not have the same probability as a man of gaining a mentor (unless there is a mandatory formal mentorship process somewhere where you work, and that is why these programs exist, because of the lack of probability). I wish I could say that advancing and senior female mentorship is a norm similar to that of males, but it’s not. Therefore, you have to take it upon yourself to gain one.
How Do I Get A Mentor?
You can go through a formal mentorship program. As someone who was a mentor through a formal law school process, you have to be aware it’s a forced relationship. It has the ability to become genuine, but it takes some real doing by both parties. Based on what I’ve seen, long lasting mentorships have been based on real relationships first.
You can ask a more senior woman leader to be your mentor. This takes courage. Not because you’ll be rejected, hardly! Most women leaders find it very flattering. The courage simply comes in the asking. However, you should get used to asking for what you want now. I believe it is one of the single most important things need to know how to do for a successful career.
You can get a mentor by chance. If you just happen to have relationship with a wiser female whom you can go and ask advice of, and learn lessons from over a period of time; you can count them as a mentor. Just don’t get in the habit of having your professional career events happen by chance…meaning put some intention and accompanying behavior behind them.
You can have mentor(s) from afar. This was the route I took. I never really admired enough any senior women leaders to ask them to be my mentor. However, there was one woman in particular I wanted to be my mentor and I did not have the courage to ask. I regret that to this day. However, before coming in contact with her I had, unbeknownst to me, started gathering mentors. There were women business and legal leaders outside of my sphere whom left me in awe. So I devoured everything I could get my hands on from them. While I didn’t have the ability to directly go and ask them for advice, I did gather a lot practical career based knowledge from them.
Who Can or Should Be My Mentor?
Any woman whom you admire. You may have expected more criteria, but there really isn’t. You can admire women for different reasons, and they don’t all have to relate to professional success. The latter could be one criteria or one mentor. You could also have a personal mentor. This might be someone who lives their values or handles their family in a way that inspires you in what you want to achieve and who you want to be. There are no limits.
As you begin your career, make sure you pick up a mentor or two, or three ,as you go along. You’ll thank yourself for it.